Thursday, August 1, 2013

Crazy Stupid Loved

I am thankful for many things in Cambodia. Things like giggles and smiles of little children, rides on water-buffalo-drawn carts, morning runs with the sun rising over glimmering rice paddies, scorching late afternoon sunshine overtaken by rainstorms... stories and pictures of all of these coming soon. :)


My hilarious and always-entertaining team of monkeys (here clearly very successfully becoming the graceful apsara dancers of Cambodia). 

But most of all, this time, I think I am thankful for these 7 monkeys. Most older than me and a few easily 20 years my senior, but whose collective youthfulness keeps me young. :)

I'm getting too old for this, was my first thought upon arrival to Cambodia. Luckily these guys proved me wrong.

I stumbled my way into this trip, switching gears into thinking about it at all really only a few days prior to take off. Taking the team on a tour through the somber history of genocide in Cambodia, and the inspiring work of HOPE, I was feeling at home, but nonetheless pretty lonely playing tour guide for yet another bunch of strangers. Kind of a new loneliness in familiarity and tiredness (and inside actually wanting to be enjoying some Vancouver summer.. or just curling up and reading a book) while everyone else was experiencing with fresh eyes and genuine awe, tiredness way overshadowed by the giddiness of all things new. 

Finally getting to the rural village where we would be based for most of our time, after months of dreaming and waiting, the team jumped in to play with the kids that gathered around us.... while I retreated to our hide-out in a newly-constructed classroom and dove into my sleeping-pad-over-concrete bed on the floor, feeling lame not to be as energy-filled as I usually am, and feeling bad that, though they would have no idea of what to compare to, I knew this team wasn't getting the best of me.

But when you share 24 hours a day together, somehow, strangers don't stay strangers for very long. I've never had a group of complete strangers become such quick "siblings"... poking so much fun at each other, playing so many pranks on each other, and having so many endless giggle-fits into the night as we tried to wriggle ourselves into a comfy spot on the concrete, knowing we'd all get woken up a few hours later by the howling dogs that made their home outside our door.
 

And then leading the team and being fully there (not just feigning it!) becomes easy again. Easy enough to enjoy anyways. :) Somehow, in the grace of it all, I found a new rhythm of leadership, quieter and less prominent/directive /group activity-discussion-facilitation, I think, than in all the other teams I taken overseas. No more or less personal, but maybe even more empowering to each person individually, in making room for their unique strengths, compassion, and personalities to find expression and inspiration. I think, anyways (?)!

And, somehow, the grace of all of that, in the "relative nothingness" that I really was for team sometimes, they each got what they needed to live fully in the experience. Each in their own way, deeply and tangibly, with hugs, joys, laughter, and tears, they loved all the people we shared life with in the most rural areas of Cambodia. They affirmed me and each other with no few words, and just in case I didn't get the point about me, as a parting gift, they sneakily and so thoughtfully got me a new phone with a crazy long battery life (35 days?!) for me to use in my future travels... AND on our last day in Cambodia, when my silly overly-trusting carelessness in the market ended up as a sizable donation to a swift pair of pick-pocketers - as much as I said it really didn't matter - they insisted on being the amazing lovely family that they are, pooling their money to replace all that I'd lost.

And left me in an awe of being so very crazy stupid loved, by this bunch of strangers who have, once again, become my family and team in loving those around us. :)

... More to come. :)